Episode 082 – These Four Limiting Beliefs Are Still Holding You Back (And How to Shift Them)

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Note: This blog post serves as an accompaniment to the corresponding podcast episode of A Changed Mind, where we’ll distill down the core ideas of this week’s theme, along with additional distinctions and insights. If you haven’t listened to the episode yet, you can go here to do so.  Enjoy.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck in your personal growth journey, you’re not alone. Maybe you’ve read all the books, attended the workshops, done the meditations, and still feel like you’re spinning your wheels. You’re doing everything you’re supposed to do, but it seems like you’ve hit a ceiling you can’t break through.

I’ve been there. A couple of years ago, I found myself in that exact position. My stress levels were off the charts. I was overwhelmed, anxious, and struggling with chronic health issues. My business was contracting, and my personal relationships were tense—my wife was pregnant with our first child, and the weight of that moment was rippling through every part of our lives. I felt stuck, and worst of all, I didn’t know why.

But what I’ve learned through that experience has changed everything—not just for me, but for the people I’ve shared this with. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve hit a wall in your personal growth, it’s not because you’re doing something wrong. It’s because there’s more to the story than you’ve been told. Today, I want to share the four layers of resistance that hold us back and how you can work through them to unlock your full potential.

The Breaking Point: When Growth Feels Like a Breakdown

Let me take you back to when this all came to a head for me. It was two years ago, and I was in the thick of it. I was overwhelmed, stressed, and completely unsure of how to move forward. My mind was racing with thoughts like, “You teach this stuff. You’re supposed to know how to fix this. Maybe there’s something fundamentally wrong with you.”

It was terrifying. On the surface, it looked like a breakdown. And honestly, it was. But what I didn’t know at the time was that this breakdown was also the beginning of a breakthrough.

One of the things I decided to do during that time was revisit a tool that had helped me in the past: the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Now, I wasn’t struggling with addiction—but I was struggling with chronic worry and stress. So I called up a friend and said, “I need to work the steps again.” He asked me, “Are you drinking? Drugging? Acting out?” I said, “No, but I’m worrying. A lot.”

As I worked through the steps, I started to see things I’d never seen before. Patterns, beliefs, and behaviors that were holding me back—and that connected to the work I’d already been doing. That process became the foundation of what I now call the Whole Human Framework, and it completely transformed my understanding of why we get stuck in personal growth.

Why Desire Isn’t Enough

Here’s the thing: most of us think personal growth is about identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs. And while that’s a piece of the puzzle, it’s just one layer of resistance. In fact, I’d say limiting beliefs only account for about 25% of what holds us back. The other 75%? It’s hidden beneath the surface.

What’s really holding you back is resistance. Resistance is the friction you feel when you’re not aligned with what you want. And it shows up as stress, overwhelm, anxiety, and negative emotions. It’s like you’re constantly arguing with yourself—on one hand, you want something, but on the other, you’re resisting it.

This is where the master equation comes in: Desire + Non-Resistance = Desired Result.

The desire part is easy. You already know what you want. You want more money, better relationships, better health, more time, more freedom. You’re a desire-making machine! But desire alone isn’t enough. The real work is in letting go of the resistance that’s keeping you stuck.

Layer One: Limiting Beliefs—A Small Part of the Puzzle

Let’s start with the most obvious layer: limiting beliefs. These are the thoughts and stories you’ve been carrying since childhood. Most of them were formed before the age of seven, when your brain was highly impressionable and absorbing everything around you.

Here’s a simple exercise to uncover one of these beliefs: Complete this sentence—“When I was growing up, money was ______.” For most people, the answer is “scarce.” And if that was true for you, chances are, you’ve carried that belief into adulthood. Your brain, being the goal-achieving machine it is, filters every thought, feeling, and action to align with that belief. You think scarcity, feel scarcity, and act out of scarcity—so of course, you create results that reinforce it.

The good news? Beliefs can be changed. Here’s how:

1. Identify the belief. For example, “Money is scarce.”
2. Choose a new belief. Replace it with, “Abundance flows effortlessly to me.”
3. Find evidence to support the new belief. Look for moments in your life where abundance has shown up.

When you find enough evidence, the old belief starts to fall apart. This is powerful work, but it’s just the beginning. Limiting beliefs are only one layer of resistance.

Layer Two: The Weight of Resentments

The second layer of resistance is resentment. Resentments are like anchors, tying you to old beliefs and preventing you from moving forward. They’re the grudges you hold—sometimes without even realizing it—against people, situations, or even yourself.

For me, one of the biggest resentments I had to work through was with my father. Growing up, I interpreted his critical nature as, “I’m not good enough.” I spent years seeking his approval, trying to get him to agree with me, because I thought agreement equaled love. But no matter how hard I tried, it never worked.

When I finally worked through that resentment, I found forgiveness. I realized my dad was doing the best he could with the tools he had. He carried his own traumas, just as his father had before him. And in letting go of that resentment, I freed myself—not just from those old beliefs, but from the need for external validation.

Who are you still resenting? A parent? A former partner? Yourself? Letting go of resentment isn’t about excusing someone’s behavior—it’s about freeing yourself.

Layer Three: The Core Program—Your Deepest Wound

Now we get to the heart of the matter: the core program. This is your deepest wound, formed by the beliefs you internalized from your primary caregivers. It’s the part of you that feels like, “This is just who I am.”

For me, my core program was a feeling of “not being good enough.” Early in life, this drove me to work harder, think deeper, and achieve more. But by my late 30s, it was suffocating me. I couldn’t turn it off.

The core program isn’t something you can “fix” with affirmations or mindset tricks. It requires surrender. Letting go. Trusting that a higher power—God, the universe, whatever resonates with you—will take over. And when you do, something miraculous happens: the behaviors and patterns that once controlled you start to lose their grip.

Layer Four: Reconnecting with Self-Love

The final layer of resistance is the absence of self-love. When you base your worth on external things—money, success, social media likes—you’re outsourcing your sense of self. And that’s exhausting.

Restoring self-love means reconnecting with who you are at your core. One of the most powerful tools for this is daily writing. Every morning, I write to my higher power. I thank God for everything in my life, ask for guidance, and listen. This simple practice has transformed the way I see myself and my place in the world.

Moving Into Personal Growth 2.0

When you work through all four layers of resistance, everything changes. You stop asking questions like, “Am I good enough?” or “Is there enough time?” Instead, you start asking, “What is God’s will for me?”

This is what I call Personal Development 2.0. It’s no longer about pulling weeds in the garden of your mind. It’s about looking up at the sky and building a relationship with something greater than yourself. When you do that, the friction melts away, and you’re free to create the life you’ve always wanted.

The Journey Is Worth It

If you’re feeling stuck, let me remind you of something important: this is part of the process. It’s not a sign that you’ve failed or that something is wrong with you. Hitting a wall in personal growth is actually an invitation—a calling to go deeper, to uncover the resistance that’s been quietly holding you back, and to finally release it.

This work isn’t easy, but it’s profoundly worth it. Imagine what’s on the other side. Freedom from the constant mental chatter that tells you you’re not enough. Freedom to pursue your goals without the weight of fear and self-doubt. Freedom to connect deeply with the people you love, with your purpose, and with the divine. When you commit to pulling the weeds of resistance—your limiting beliefs, resentments, core programs, and the absence of self-love—you create space for something extraordinary to grow.

You were made for more. You are capable of more. The ceiling you feel isn’t your limit—it’s your starting point. And as you work through these layers of resistance, you’ll discover a life that’s not just better or bigger but truly aligned with who you are and who you’re becoming. This is the work of transformation, and it’s your path to the life you’ve always known was possible.

Take this as your invitation to begin—or continue—this journey. You’re not alone. The tools are here, the path is clear, and your breakthrough is inevitable. Keep going. You’ve got this, and I’ll be right here cheering you on every step of the way. Let’s move forward together.