Episode 079 – Build A Personal Relationship With God (3 Steps)

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Note: This blog post serves as an accompaniment to the corresponding podcast episode of A Changed Mind, where we’ll distill down the core ideas of this week’s theme, along with additional distinctions and insights. If you haven’t listened to the episode yet, you can go here to do so.  Enjoy.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that having a personal relationship with a higher power can transform every aspect of your life. Not in a vague, feel-good kind of way, but in a tangible, life-changing way. For me, it wasn’t a straightforward journey. I went from being an atheist to believing in the universe to ultimately developing a personal connection with God.

And let me tell you—there’s a big difference between believing in “the universe” and having a relationship with the one who created it.

My Journey from Atheism to God

I didn’t grow up in a religious family. Sure, we celebrated holidays—Christmas, Easter, Hanukkah, Passover—but it was more cultural than spiritual. We never went to church or temple, and God wasn’t a topic of conversation in my house.

By the time I reached college, I considered myself an atheist. I didn’t believe in some “bearded guy in the sky” answering prayers. Honestly, it all seemed a bit ridiculous to me. But life has a way of challenging your beliefs, especially when things spiral out of control.

For me, that spiral came in the form of addiction. My life became unmanageable. I couldn’t stop drinking, using drugs, or escaping into other behaviors to numb the discomfort I felt inside. That’s when I was introduced to a 12-step program.

Now, you may not be an addict, but hear me out because what I learned about building a relationship with a higher power applies to everyone.

Surrendering Control: The Power of the 12 Steps

The 12 steps don’t just help you quit drinking or using; they introduce you to a new way of living. They start with this simple idea: I can’t, He can, I’ll let Him.

It wasn’t about forcing myself to stop drinking. It was about admitting I couldn’t do it on my own. There’s a power greater than me, and if I allowed that power into my life, it could take away the urge, the compulsion, the need to escape.

What I discovered is that addiction isn’t just about substances—it’s about trying to check out of life. For me, it was unprocessed trauma, limiting beliefs, stress, and overwhelm. I didn’t feel good enough. I felt like I wasn’t as far along as I should be. Sound familiar?

We all have something we use to escape—scrolling social media, binge-watching Netflix, eating too much sugar, or endlessly working to avoid facing ourselves. What the 12 steps taught me was that the key isn’t trying to control these behaviors. The key is surrendering to a higher power and letting that relationship transform you from the inside out.

Clearing the Space for Connection

The steps didn’t just help me stop drinking; they helped me clear out the mental and emotional clutter that kept me disconnected from God. Resentments, judgments, limiting beliefs—these are like weeds that choke out our ability to grow. As I pulled those weeds, something amazing happened: I felt a deeper connection to God.

Let me be clear—this isn’t about a specific religion. It’s about the God of your own understanding. It doesn’t matter if you think of God as a Christian God, a Hindu God, or simply the universe. What matters is building a relationship with something greater than yourself.

And as I let God into more areas of my life—not just my addiction but my relationships, my work, my health—everything started to shift.

Moving Beyond Personal Growth

After getting sober, I dove into personal growth. I read the books, attended the seminars, and learned about metaphysical principles like “thoughts create things.” And it worked—to an extent. I made more money. I reduced some of my suffering.

But something still felt missing.

Personal growth often focuses on fixing ourselves—pulling weeds, as I like to call it. But at some point, I realized I didn’t want to spend my life pulling weeds. I wanted to plant something new. That’s when I started asking a different question: What is God’s will for me?

That question changed everything. Instead of wondering if I was good enough or comparing myself to others, I focused on what God wanted for my life.

A Practice That Transformed Everything

For the last 18 months, I’ve been asking for a personal relationship with God. At first, it felt strange—like I was speaking into a void. But I kept asking because I knew that “ask and you shall receive” isn’t just a pretty phrase; it’s a principle.

Eventually, I felt a nudge to start journaling. I resisted at first—who wants to wake up early when sleep is already an issue? But the signs kept coming. My wife even suggested it, saying it might help my sleep. Then, during a transformational breath session, I had a profound experience where my body felt energized and my hand moved as if it were writing.

I took the hint.

Now, almost every morning, I wake up and write. I start with gratitude, addressing God directly: Dear Father, thank you. I thank Him for my family, my work, my health, and even the challenges that have shaped me.

Something about writing to God—not just listing gratitudes but truly connecting—has shifted my entire perspective. I don’t just feel grateful; I feel connected, as if I’m tuning into God’s frequency.

The Three Parts of My Practice

1. Gratitude
   I start by thanking God for everything in my life, big and small. This isn’t just a mental exercise—it’s a way to feel the presence of God in my life.
2. Asking
   Next, I ask for what I want, whether it’s patience, clarity, or something more tangible. And I trust that if it’s God’s will, it will happen.
3. Praying for Others
   Finally, I pray for others. This part reminds me that my relationship with God isn’t just about me; it’s about serving others and being a vessel for His work.

God Is a Neurology

Here’s the thing: building a relationship with God is like building any skill. If you want to play basketball, you practice basketball. If you want a deep connection with God, you practice being in relationship with Him.

Through this practice, I’ve realized that the relationship I craved with my earthly father—approval, love, guidance—is exactly what I’ve found with my divine Father.

Bringing God into Everyday Life

This relationship doesn’t stay confined to journaling. It shows up in meetings, decisions, and even how I approach challenges. For example, when hiring for my business, I’ve learned to trust divine timing instead of rushing out of fear.

Knowing that God is orchestrating everything allows me to relax. It’s not about being passive; it’s about trusting the process and making decisions from a place of faith instead of fear.

Living with Faith and Trust

When you have a personal relationship with a higher power, life’s challenges become opportunities for growth. Nothing is ever “going wrong.” Everything is either an answer to a request or a lesson designed to help you become the person God intends you to be.

This perspective has changed how I approach everything—from my business to my relationships to my health. It’s allowed me to step into a state of trust, knowing that I’m not alone in this journey.

An Invitation to Start Your Own Journey

If any of this resonates with you, I want to encourage you: start where you are. Whether it’s journaling, praying, or simply asking, take that first step toward building a relationship with a higher power.

This isn’t about religion or rules—it’s about connection. And that connection can bring you the peace, clarity, and purpose you’ve been searching for.