Episode 071 – Why Law Of Attraction Isn’t Working For You… And How To Fix It

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Note: This blog post serves as an accompaniment to the corresponding podcast episode of A Changed Mind, where we’ll distill down the core ideas of this week’s theme, along with additional distinctions and insights. If you haven’t listened to the episode yet, you can go here to do so.  Enjoy.

Have you ever set a big intention, maybe for the perfect job, a high-paying client, or even better health? You feel like the universe is aligning just right—you meet the person who seems perfect, land that project, or start to feel those health changes. But then, suddenly, it falls apart. The client vanishes, the project fizzles, or the health gains slip away. Frustrating, right? It’s easy to think something’s wrong or feel like maybe we’re just unlucky.

I know the feeling all too well. Today, I want to share how I’ve come to understand these experiences as something entirely different—a natural part of the journey toward realizing our desires. Rather than setbacks, they’re part of a fine-tuning process that clarifies what we truly want and need, and when we embrace this, life unfolds with a lot more ease.

Lessons from a Long Search for the “Right Fit”

Not too long ago, Carol and I were building our business together. It was just the two of us, and Carol was handling all of our marketing—creating email campaigns, designing landing pages, everything. We reached a point where it was clear we needed someone else to take on that role. So, we set a clear intention to find a great marketing partner to help expand our vision.

Within a few weeks, we attended an event, and there was a marketing agency that seemed to check all the boxes. They offered every service we were looking for, from email campaigns to landing pages and webinars. We thought, “Wow, the universe really lined this up fast for us!” It was a “meant-to-be” moment. But as we started working with them, we hit problem after problem. Communication issues, broken links, missed deadlines—it became clear that this was not the right fit.

We didn’t give up on our intention, though. Soon, through a referral, we connected with a consultant who had a solid reputation in the industry. She had worked with some big names, and it seemed promising. But once again, we ran into poor execution and broken promises. It was like déjà vu. We kept asking, “Why is this happening? Are we ever going to find the right person?”

Each Chapter Brings Us Closer to What We Want

Eventually, we connected with Brett, a consultant whose values and skills aligned perfectly with our vision. He’s been with us ever since and has been instrumental to our growth. Looking back, I realized something important: every one of those “almost” hires brought us closer to understanding what we truly wanted. Each experience refined our vision and helped us clarify our needs. This wasn’t the universe working against us; it was actually aligning us, step-by-step, toward the best outcome.

This was the universe’s fine-tuning process in action. Each chapter brought us closer, even when it felt like a setback. It was only when we were able to see these experiences as clarifying moments, rather than failures, that we finally found our answer. When we’re in non-resistance, we stay open to how things unfold. Each step forward becomes less about controlling the outcome and more about trusting that everything is working toward our ultimate good.

Desire + Non-Resistance = Desired Result

One of the most powerful principles I’ve come to understand is that desire plus non-resistance equals the desired result. Holding onto your goal with clarity is essential, but so is letting go of the specifics around how it will come. When we release resistance, we create the space for life to bring us what we’re asking for in the best possible way.

When we resist—through frustration, doubt, or trying to control every little detail—we end up blocking the very thing we’re working toward. But when we release that resistance and allow life to flow, synchronicities and opportunities arise. The pieces start to fall into place more naturally.

Think of it as reading a book. You might be on Chapter 5, but the story of your desire has 23 chapters. If you try to end the book early, you’ll miss the full unfolding of the story. Each chapter refines and clarifies what we’re asking for, making the final outcome even more aligned with what we truly want.

Behind Every “Problem” is a Perfect Solution on the Way

Let me share another example from my own journey. Recently, we decided to rebuild our sales team as our business was growing rapidly. I reached out to a former salesperson and lined up a new team, and everything looked set. At the same time, I had a promising candidate for the sales director role, someone I’d been in conversations with for months. It seemed like things were perfectly aligned.

But just as quickly, everything started to unravel. My sales director candidate came back with a higher compensation demand than we’d discussed, and the salesperson I had lined up emailed to say they had a family emergency and couldn’t start. Now, I was left without a sales team, without a director, and with a full schedule of calls and consultations. It was easy to think, “Why is this happening?”

Then I caught myself. I remembered the principle of non-resistance and decided to take a step back. Instead of jumping into problem-solving mode, I allowed myself to relax and trust that something better was on its way. And just two hours later, I received a message from a couple who ran a sales organization. They were part of my community and knew my work well, and they reached out to see if I needed help building my sales team. It was a perfect fit.

Had I resisted, had I tried to force a solution, I might have missed this opportunity entirely. The answer came to me in a way I never could have predicted, reinforcing the idea that every setback is simply a setup for something better when we stay open.

Moving Out of a Primal State

When things don’t go as planned, our natural response is often stress or panic. We’ve been conditioned to go into “fix-it” mode, which can put us in a reactive, primal state—fight, flight, or freeze. In this state, we become so focused on the immediate problem that we block potential solutions from coming in. We end up narrowing our view, often locking ourselves into the very situations we’re trying to escape.

Operating in non-resistance allows us to move out of that primal state and into a place of openness and possibility. Instead of saying, “Why is this happening to me?” we start to ask, “What is this experience bringing me closer to?” This shift in perspective keeps us aligned with our larger vision, and we find ourselves less caught up in the little frustrations along the way.

Learning to Trust Each Step in the Journey

The truth is, life’s journey is rarely linear. It’s about growing into the person who can hold the things we desire. Each chapter, each experience, shapes and refines us, helping us prepare for what’s to come. When we resist the process, we’re essentially resisting our own growth and the clarity that each experience offers. But when we embrace every chapter as part of the process, we’re able to navigate the journey with grace and ease.

One of my favorite reminders is this: Behind every problem is an even better solution on the way. What looks like a setback is just one chapter of a much bigger story, one that’s leading us to a place of deeper alignment and fulfillment.

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Process and Trust the Timing

The next time you face a setback, remember: it’s just a chapter, not the entire story. Behind every challenge is an even better solution waiting to emerge. When we let go of trying to control every outcome, we make space for life to bring us what we’re truly asking for in the best way possible.

Living in non-resistance allows us to experience the journey without the constant frustration of unmet expectations. It lets us relax and trust that the universe is working for our highest good. This principle—desire plus non-resistance—helps us transform our journey from one of struggle to one of flow. We stop pushing against life and start moving with it, trusting that each chapter brings us closer to our highest potential.

So, here’s my invitation to you: embrace every experience, knowing it’s leading you to something even better. Relax into the process, hold your desires with clarity, and stay open to the unexpected. Because when you do, life unfolds in ways more wonderful than you ever could have planned.