Episode 008 – The Power of Decision: One Simple but Shockingly Powerful Tool to Transform All of Your Limiting Beliefs

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Note: This blog post serves as an accompaniment to the corresponding podcast episode of A Changed Mind, where we’ll distill down the core ideas of this week’s theme, along with additional distinctions and insights. If you haven’t listened to the episode yet, you can go here to do so.  Enjoy.

Today, I want to demystify the idea of limiting beliefs and talk about what our beliefs really are, where they come from, and how we can actually rewire the neural networks of our minds to transform them – permanently.

We’re going to talk about this under the assumption that you’re aware you have limiting beliefs are holding you back and that you believe in this concept that our thoughts are things and our thinking is what creates our reality – but perhaps you’re still questioning how to go beyond this sense of self-awareness and experience real change in the way you think and what you believe.

Spoiler Alert: Change Doesn’t Have To Be Hard 

That’s really the first thing to understand when it comes to rewiring your brain and facilitating your own transformation.  Simply believing that it’s difficult to change your beliefs is going to be the first belief you want to let go of if you want to experience a change.  

That said, we all have layers and layers of these limiting beliefs – and even your belief about what it means to create change or how easy or difficult it is to overcome your childhood trauma or your limiting beliefs plays a significant impact on how straightforward or complicated this journey of transformation will be for you.

Most people make change a lot harder than it needs to be.

I was once one of those people.  In fact, it took realizing I was a drug addict, alcoholic, and pornography addict to realize that my life had become unmanageable and to start scratching the surface of self-awareness around my thoughts, beliefs, and self-destructive habits.  That’s the good thing about recovery – it makes a great stepping stone into personal growth.

I lucked out because I ended up working with a therapist who focused heavily on neuroscience, neuroplasticity, and the science of brain change. And I soon began to realize that if I can change these habits of addiction, what can’t I change in terms of my habits, the way that I think, how I feel, and what I believe? 

I’m going to skip talking about my long and winding road into the world of personal development because I’ve talked about it a lot before.  But the short story is that I tried pretty much everything to create a change in my life and experience a personal transformation.

Like many people, I found myself in this personal development “purgatory” – where the more time I spent learning about personal development, the more I was convinced there was actually something wrong with me.  Despite reading all these books, going to all these events, and trying all these different modalities, I was still fairly unhappy – even though I had a pretty good life.  

I noticed this theme in the world of personal growth, too.  All these people were attending events, reading the books, and pumping themselves up, but ultimately, they were still suffering.  They might have changed their state – temporarily – but their brains stayed the same.

After years of “doing the work”, I became acutely aware that I had these limiting beliefs and could pinpoint what they were (for the most part), but I had no idea how to actually change them.  I started asking the questions:

How do you actually change your brain?

How do you alter your perception of the experiences you’ve had for so long?

How do you turn the voice of the “inner critic” into an “inner champion”

And how do you do all of this without brute-forcing the issue or feeling like you need to “figure it out”?

Identifying Where Your Limiting Beliefs Actually Come From

Before we get into how to transform your limiting beliefs, it’s important to recognize where they originate and how they manifest themselves into your experience of life. Because what you believe determines on a moment by moment basis what you think.

For instance, if you believe that money is hard to make, you’re going to have thoughts around how difficult it is to earn more money and how scarce money is.  You’re not going to have thoughts around how abundant and prosperous the universe is.  Because of that, you’re not going to have empowering or motivating thoughts that will actually lead to you making more money, more easily.

The same is true for relationships.  So, for example, if you’re hoping to find yourself in a new relationship, but you believe that there’s no good people left out there, you’re not going to have thoughts and ideas that would lead to meeting your soulmate. You’re probably going to stay at home and isolate yourself.

And so on and so on, regardless of the desire at hand.  All of this comes down to what we call the 5 Primary Drivers, which can be explained in the sense that:

Your beliefs determine your thoughts – your thoughts determine your emotions – your emotions determine that actions you do or do not take – your actions dictate your results.

So to take the example of money…if you believe that money is easy to make, you’re going to naturally inspire thoughts of making more money, which are going to make you feel motivated and inspired, and that’s going to cause you to take actions aligned with making more money easily.  Hopefully you’re with me so far.  Think about it like “cause and effect” – your beliefs, thoughts, and emotions are the cause and your actions and outcomes are the effect.

So how do we get these beliefs in the first place?

For the most part, we get them through osmosis as children, before the age of seven.  The 25 billion synaptic connections you’re born with quadruple to 100 billion throughout your formative years.  What’s happening is that you’re recording every experience in your life – the sights, smells, sounds, touches, tastes – and all of that data is getting sent through your nervous system to your brain.  

In addition to forming all of these new connections in your brain, you’re also unconsciously giving them a meaning.  That meaning is the foundation for the lens through which you perceive reality.  And over time, you find more evidence as to why, according to the still-limited interpretation of your prefrontal cortex, that belief you have must be true – even though it isn’t.  Think of it as one big misunderstanding from childhood that you now carry with you in adulthood.

The science is actually quite fascinating if you’re interested in going down the rabbit hole.  You could actually hook your brain up to a machine and see the electrical charge light up when asked to think about a certain belief you have, whether it’s about money, self-worth, relationships, time, talent – you name it.

But whatever it is you’ve identified to be a limiting belief – whether it’s that money is hard to make, people can’t be trusted, or you’re not good enough (one of my personal limiting beliefs that was tough to crack) – is now dictating the lens through which you experience life in the present moment.

What Limiting Beliefs ACTUALLY Are 

This is going to make all the difference in your ability to change your beliefs – because if you’ve been trying to transform your beliefs and you’ve had a challenge doing it, it’s probably because you feel like you’re working with something that’s almost invisible.

You can’t see these thoughts. You can’t see these emotions. In many ways, a limiting belief feels like a cloud. So how do you even wrap your hands around it to work with the thing – to transform it? 

Here’s the 2-millimeter distinction: 

Beliefs are decisions.

I’ve shared the story before about the time when I was working on a school project and my father came in to help me and said “Why don’t you do it this way instead?”.  I interpreted what was most likely a completely innocent suggestion on his part as the belief that I didn’t know how to do it right and, therefore, I must not be good enough.

In reality, I unconsciously made that decision on my own.  And I kept making it over and over again.  Anytime I had an experience that felt remotely similar to that, whether it was a teacher telling me an answer to a question was incorrect or I went on a date with a girl and she didn’t want to keep going out with me, I was deciding that I didn’t know how to do it right.

So consider this: we all know how to make decisions, right?  We make them all day every day.  It’s a fairly straightforward concept to grasp.  You might not know how to “create a belief” out of thin air, but you can make different decisions.  You can decide to leave a job, end a relationship, ask for a raise, change a tire, make spaghetti for dinner – it’s easy, right?  And if all that’s true…

You can change a limiting belief simply by making a new decision – right now.

Sound too good to be true?  Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but it really is as simple as that.  I will say that there are some beliefs that we all have that are more deeply integrated and are a bit more difficult to transform.  But I’d say that at least 50% of the limiting beliefs you have, the ones you’re aware enough to recognize and want to change, can be transformed with this simple distinction.

Using The Power Of Decision To Transform Your Beliefs 

The simplest way to transform your limiting beliefs into something more empowering and aligned with the life you want is to think in terms of opposites.

If you believe money is hard to make = decide that money is easy to make and abundance flows to you.

If you believe that you have to do everything yourself = decide that collaborating with others is the most effective way to create extraordinary results.

If you believe that you’re never going to meet your soulmate = decide that the man or woman of your dreams is on their way into your life right now.

When I share this with people for the first time, I’m typically met with a response that sounds something like: “Okay, David – sounds great.  But don’t I need to know HOW to do it?”

How do I make more money…

How do I start trusting everyone…

How do I attract my dream partner…

The truth is, you have to make the decision first.  The how comes later, and it comes with much less effort if you make the decision first.  Why?  Because your beliefs dictate your thoughts, which dictate your emotions, which dictate your actions (the “how”), which dictate your results.  Most people get it backwards.

As soon as you make a decision that’s the opposite of your limiting belief, you start to imagine it.  In fact, we’re all using our imagination all of the time whether we realize it or not.  But most people are imagining the same future – one that’s largely undesirable – over and over again.  

So it’s important that you know that you don’t need to know “how” to do something when you can start to imagine it.  As you imagine it, your brain doesn’t know the difference between it actually happening or you imagining it and you start to build new neurosynaptic connections.  

There was actually a study done in 2009, featured in Time Magazine, where they brought in piano players to play the piano and they studied their brains as they played to identify which parts of their brain lit up.  Then they had the pianists come back in and imagine playing the piano and, guess what?  The exact same parts of their brain lit up.  There have actually been multiple studies around this that all conclude the same thing:

Your brain does not know the difference between imagination and reality.

So when you’re willing to make a new decision, your brain actually begins to grow as if it were an actual memory.  It has the capacity to build a memory of an experience in your future that has not happened yet.  Pretty mind blowing if you ask me.

Consider any desire you have, whether it’s meeting your soulmate, making a million dollars, or anything in between.  If you had already achieved it, wouldn’t you know how you’d done it?  Of course you would.  But again, this reinforces the fact that you don’t need to know “how” to do something and the importance of making a new decision.

Because when you make a new decision, you begin to unlock your capacity to imagine and visualize it, and you start to build memories of a future that hasn’t happened yet.  Your brain literally forms new neural connections and allows your mind to tap into the thoughts, ideas, perceptions, and emotions aligned with that desired outcome.  This is the Power of Decision.

How To Find Evidence For Your New Beliefs (So You Can Believe Them!)

The moment you make a new decision, you start noticing evidence for the new decision and you stop paying attention to the evidence that has been supporting the old, false limiting belief. The moment you make a new decision, 3 incredible things happen.

Number one, you start to have new thoughts and ideas. You literally start to be able to access thoughts and ideas and alignment with the new decision/belief. 

Number two, your perception of reality changes. There’s a part of your brain called the reticular activating system that causes us to filter out about 88% of everything that’s going on around us.  But the 12% that we actually pay attention to is what’s in alignment with our beliefs. So you start to find evidence to support whatever it is that you believe. 

Number three, your new beliefs begin to inform your unconscious mind.  The things that might seem like synchronicities or coincidences are actually micro-decisions that you make on a daily basis that add up so you can begin to experience that which you believe.

So one of the tools we use in our transformational methodology is the Decision Matrix.  You can do this exercise right now if you want, it’s really simple.  All it requires is a piece of paper with 3 columns, a little bit of willingness, and a desire to transform your beliefs.

Step One (first column): Write out your limiting beliefs

How do you find your limiting beliefs? You take a look at your thoughts in relation to the experiences that you’re having in your life right now that you don’t like. Write down what those are:

Life is unfair. 

Things don’t work out for me. 

I’m not as far along as I should be.

Bad things happen to good people. 

Money is evil.

I’ll never have a soulmate.

Etc.

Step Two (middle column): Write down your new decision

Remember to think in terms of opposites.

I don’t have enough time > I have plenty of time

I can’t trust anyone > I can trust most people

I’ll never attract a soulmate > My soulmate is on their way

Etc.

Step Three (third column): What evidence do you have for the new decision?

Up until now, your reticular activating system has been filtering out all of the evidence that supports the new decision you want to make…but it’s there, you just haven’t given it much credence.

So if you’re willing to sit and think about the evidence you have for the fact that your new decision is true, you’ll start to access parts of your brain that have been dormant for a while that hold the memories that support this new decision.  And before you know it, you’ve got a whole list of evidence that’s essentially going to debunk any truth you’ve given to your old, limiting beliefs.

For example, if you’ve previously believed that money is hard to make but you make a new decision that you’re a magnet for abundance, you need to start thinking about all of the times, situations, experiences, and circumstances in your life that do not support that limiting belief.

That evidence can be found in the fact that you’re reading this blog post right now, right?  You’ve got a roof over your head.  You’re reading this on a nice computer or cellphone that probably cost a pretty penny.  Your lights are on, meaning your bills are paid.  Some money is coming in – whether it’s from your business, a job, social security, or even disability – you’re not destitute right.  So you need to count all of these little nuanced things that support your new decision that money is in fact not hard to make and you’ve been abundant all along.

This might take some practice.  You might need to dig a little deep.  You may face some resistance in the process.  But I guarantee that if you make a new decision, you’ll find a myriad of evidence to support it, whether it’s around money, time, relationships, health, you name it.

Your Beliefs Dictate Your Destiny 

Phew, this has been quite the journey.  But I hope you walk away with an understanding that you are 100% responsible for what you’re creating in your life and what you’ve created up until now – but you have control on where that leads you next.

Anything you don’t like about your current reality was created out of a limiting belief.  The way to identify that limiting belief is to think about the experience(s) that caused you to decide it was true in the first place.

From there, you simply make a new decision, and the easiest way to do it is to decide that the opposite is true using the Power of Decision.  This allows your thoughts, ideas, and perceptions to change and your unconscious mind to start rewiring itself to create memories for a future that hasn’t happened yet.

You can then reinforce your new decision/belief with all of the evidence you have in your life to support that it’s true, and that your old, limiting belief was nothing but a misunderstanding you’ve been carrying around since childhood.

Is this easy?  I think so.  But again, it might take some practice.  Is it incredibly simple and powerful?  Absolutely.  And the more you commit to this practice and this work, the sooner you’ll start to transform your beliefs, change your mind, and reengineer your reality.